So far, the climate change deniers and skeptics haven’t cared that the Arctic has warmed by roughly 3°C (5.4°F) since the start of the Industrial Revolution. Or they don’t believe that recent surface air temperatures have reached record highs, and summer temperatures in parts of the region have even spiked above 90°F.
The “drill-baby-drill-wind-turbines-eat-birds-solar-is-ugly” crowd has no problem looking the other way while Arctic sea ice is shrinking and thinning rapidly, and the oldest and thickest multi-year sea ice has declined by more than 95% since the 1980s.
Climate change is a hoax, you say. It’s natural cyclical variation.
Well, maybe these facts will change your petty minds. Picture this impending doomsday scenario: a giant, unstoppable, amoeba-like alien coming for you, about to swallow you in its thick, gooey maw. You’re dead, your family is dead, your friends and enemies and neighbors are dead. In fact, the whole world is dead—and it all could have been prevented with sensible climate policy.
But no, you dirty, oil-loving bastards. You’re going to get us all killed.
How do I know this?
Last night, I just happened to catch the end of the 1958 sci-fi horror flick, The Blob, featuring Steve McQueen in his first starring role. McQueen went on to become the leading man in such iconic movies as Bullitt, The Getaway, Papillon, and The Great Escape.
I know The Blob well because I remember watching it as a kid. A gelatinous alien organism crash-lands near a small town and begins consuming residents. It grows larger and more dangerous with each victim it absorbs. A teenager witness (McQueen, at age 27) tries to convince skeptical adults (climate change skeptics?) of the threat, until the monster rampages through the town and must be confronted, leading to a desperate effort to stop it using cold temperatures.
Cold temperatures, that’s the key. McQueen discovers this when he sprays a CO2 fire extinguisher at the thing and it beats a hasty retreat. Everyone gets in on the act and they shrink and freeze the blobby beast.
But it’s not dead, only frozen. The blob is airlifted and dropped onto the frozen Arctic Circle, where it will be unable to regenerate itself.
The police officer in charge says, “I don’t think it can be killed, but at least we’ve got it stopped.”
And then Stevie issues his prescient warning: “Yeah, as long as the Arctic stays cold.”
There you have it, you feckless and reckless climate change deniers. The Arctic is warming, the blob will resurrect, and we’ll all be dead because of it.
Maybe not all of us. But some of us. A lot of us. As cheesy a movie as The Blob is, there was a sequel and a remake, so if you don’t think it can happen, you’re wrong.
