An essay published by the bipartisan think tank the Center for Strategic and International Studies (CSIS) discussed the challenge of surprising your enemy in a military attack in the twenty-first century.
Back in the day, it was easier to pull off a military shocker. Case in point: the United States was woefully unprepared for the Japanese surprise attack on Pearl Harbor in 1941.
But today, according to CSIS, “in a globalized world shaped by advanced technology, satellite surveillance, instant communication, and widespread information access, achieving military surprise has become increasingly complex.”
Drone systems, hackers, whistleblowers, and even social networking all make sneaking up on your enemy more difficult.
So do pizza orders. Yes, pizza orders.
Israel this past week managed to pull off a surprise attack on Iran, even though pizza trackers in Washington knew something top secret was brewing.
According to the X account Pentagon Pizza Report, about an hour before Iranian state TV first reported loud explosions in Tehran, take-out pizza orders around the Pentagon went ballistic.
I know what you’re thinking, but the Pentagon Meter Theory isn’t just conspiracy bunk. It posits that “upticks in pizza orders received by restaurants near the Pentagon can predict international conflicts and times of crisis in the U.S. government.”
The Israeli attack on Iran is just one example. Pizza deliveries to the Pentagon reportedly doubled right before the US invasion of Panama in December 1989, and surged again before Operation Desert Storm in 1991.
I can imagine the scene at the Pentagon quite well: We’re working overtime, says Pete Hegseth and his crack team as they sit back and monitor Israel’s attack on Iran while gobbling pizza. Pepperoni for the Secretary of Defense. Mushroom for the Chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff.
Look, another missile exploded! Pass the cheese with extra anchovies. Nothing like the smell of pizza in wartime!
