We’ve all pressed the reset button to restart a device or system that is unresponsive or malfunctioning. It’s a go-to fix for a multitude of issues.
I’ve gotten better at resetting myself when I start to malfunction. When anxious or emotionally drained or feeling lost, I’ve learned to pause, step back, and intentionally return to a clearer, more balanced version of myself, more prepared to handle whatever comes next.
I honed my reset skill on the tennis court this season, and transferred the practice to my personal life. In tennis, resetting between points is essential. It could be after a long 20-shot rally and I need to reset physically because my heart is pounding and I’m sucking wind. But just as often, the reset is mental. I hit a weak or dumb shot, and my opponent puts the ball away for a winner. I double fault on my serve. I send a ball long or wide or into the net. There’s no time to dwell on my errors—I have to reset because the next point is coming up right away.
One way I learned to reset in tennis is through ritual: I take a few intentional breaths, spin the racket in my hand, tap the clay off my feet, and remind myself that although I’m missing shots and making mistakes and getting tired, my opponent is doing those same things. I don’t have to win every point, just a few more than the other guy. Roger Federer, one of the greatest players in the history of the game, noted that he only won 54 percent of points played. Even if you’re the best at what you do, you have to find a way to put a lot of lost points behind you and move on. Next point, reset, and then the next point.
Same thing in my daily life: reset and move on. I forget to follow through on a commitment because I didn’t write it down, and then I feel guilty. Reset and make amends. I get anxious because I’m facing a difficult conversation or decision. Reset and face the challenge. Someone makes an offensive remark to me and I want to go on the attack. Reset and put things in perspective. I’m worried about a loved one. Reset and look for a way to help.
Some people might reset by taking a walk or meditating or engaging in a favorite, calming activity. If I have time, I might walk or exercise or sit and read for a while or stare at the trees in my yard. But I’m often looking for a quick reset button during a moment of chaos. In those cases, I might take a deep breath, change my visual focus, and just tell myself to reset. Simply being aware of the need to reset, to say the word in my mind, helps me do it.
Playing tennis all summer helped me develop the quick reset, and I’m fortunate to have carried that learned lesson to my daily life. I also developed a much better topspin crosscourt backhand. So let the other guy figure out how to reset! We all need to do it. What’s your method?
